How My Kids Freak Me Out, Let Me Count The Ways...
In honor of Halloween, this post is celebrating these creepy little creatures that we call our children. Grab your popcorn and crucifix necklace while you settle in for a few minutes.
So I have four kids…1, 2, 3, 4. That is quite a few people to be in charge of. Let me say that these children of mine are so awesome but they can truly freak me out sometimes. I’m not talking about accidents and arguments, but flat out oozing creepiness every so often that is enough to make me want to run for the hills. The very first time I experienced this scary-kid-phenomenon I remember like it was yesterday. My oldest son and I were at our house together during his toddler years. He was playing in a corner of the living room, then he came and found me, got pretty close, stared me dead in the eyes and asked, “where’s Mommy?” I about had a heart attack. “Where’s Mommy?” “WHERE IS MOMMY?” What the…? Why was I suddenly unrecognizable to my own child? In that split second I dreamed of a gigantic bottle of Holy water, but with none on hand, I pretended to be calm. I searched his sweet face and said, “I am Mommy!” I think it came out more like a question, “I am Mommy?” because in that moment of terror, I wasn’t even sure my identity.
I think sometimes they just wait around thinking of ways to be spooky. They are in bed, right? I go to the kitchen, look in the fridge, and as I close it one of them is there just behind the fridge door…no noise, no warning…like a ninja, they appear. They are in the hallway when I round the corner, or sleepwalking at night.
Each of them so far, have freaked me out when I’m completely relaxed, AKA in a dead sleep. Sometimes I can sense them sub-consciously. I don’t know if it is their scent or loud breathing cutting through the serenity that wakes me. Usually they come into our room with a specific goal in mind. All four of them have sought permission to sleep in our room or bed, shuffled their little feet across the carpet and hovered over me in my sleep. I have awoken to an outline of a tiny human with wild hair at the foot of my bed, crawling statically across the bed and the worst yet, positioned, standing with their face about 6 inches from my own. Little. Scary. People. My younger son came in so deep in stealth mode one time that I didn’t hear him at all. I don’t know if he had whispered my name or even nudged me but I woke with a start. I saw him, but couldn’t process the situation. Who is that? Where am I? Who am I? These were all questions darting through my mind while my reflexes sprung into survival mode and I smacked him in the chest. He, then, was also surprised. I couldn’t stop myself, I laughed like a lunatic, realizing what I had done. I probably laughed for a good minute or two before inviting my lil’ creepy kid to crash with his blanket on the floor…but I’m sure he was more scared of me at that point than whatever nightmare he may have had.
Kids can do some pretty freaky things sometimes. They can make parents question sanity and safety. There are some terrifying movies out this Halloween and all of the horrifying classics make for some popular entertainment. I use to watch scary flicks…but now that I have my own creepy beings living in my house…I just don’t feel the need.
Enjoy those little creepers, they are so special and hilarious. Have a safe and Happy Halloween!