The Mom Look
The look, every mom has one. The look that you give your child that says to them “stop now.” When the look doesn’t work I tend to pull out my best exorcist voice. I’ve never seen the movie but I have a voice that is somewhere between a whisper and a growl that conveys that I will not tolerate ONE MORE THING. I’m not exactly proud of this voice skill…it just was born one day and I practice it in front of my kids from time-to-time.
I was supporting my oldest son at his sporting event a few weeks ago and I went from chasing my toddler, to repeatedly losing sight of my cart-wheeling daughter in the crowd, to then hear my whining younger son tell me he wasn’t ready to leave the playground and watch the very event that we came for. I was reaching the tip of what I could calmly handle. A beautiful friend that was with me, pausing our conversation with every new interruption, helping me keep eyes on each of my kids and volunteering to go back for my son’s shoes by the slide was incredible. She was helpful and I didn’t even have to ask. It was in that moment that I loved her even more. She got it.
Before we were moms, we had all the answers. We decided to be the best version of ourselves and rewrite the wrongs of our parents. Remember that ideal mom that you were going to grow up to be? You were gonna do things differently. No cussing or yelling would ever leave your patient mouth in front of the precious ears of your children. Under no circumstances EVER would those cuss words or scream be directed at your kids. Uh huh, once you birth those little beings that ideal image of your flawless motherhood goes “bye-bye.” Parenting changes us on the deepest level. You know how you were the most incredible, talented and wise woman alive before kids? Well soak it in, revel in your awesomeness…you may not always feel that way.
I realized that I have some serious character flaws once I had kids. With each child a unique personality was introduced and all unearthing another flaw in me. I can promise you after having 4 kids, there is no pride left. I am short-tempered, exhausted, and whoa I even freaked myself out at 8:57p when the kids kept creeping out of their bedroom for one more story, hug, sip of water, or a routine wrestling match ensued in the boys’ room and I informed them that their very existence is now at risk…yikes. Sometimes I even give myself chills.
Guilty. Guilty? Do I feel guilty every time I say something a little harsh, naw. Sometimes, I do. But I know. I know…that they know…that I love every hair on their head. I celebrate every new freckle on their body and I am so very proud of them. You know why the guilt of the words I said or the ways that I messed up doesn’t keep me awake at night? It’s because I am a great mom. Yep. I know it. It sounds like I am being boastful, but I’m not. It’s a fact. I do my best each day and when I mess up…that’s a lesson too. It helps to grow me for tomorrow. Give yourself a break. Say sorry when you cross the line. AND MEAN IT! Then do better tomorrow, that’s all you can do.