Love for the Working Momma
Working moms and stay at home moms tend to butt heads sometimes on whose job is the hardest. Why, though? Why do we feel the need to debate or compete with who has it the worst, lol? They are both tough…speaking from experience, they both have their pros and cons.
This post will be dedicated to the working moms everywhere…I see you, I know you are working hard, being a provider, being a mom and splitting your time and efforts between the two worlds.
My first year going back to work after having my first son was the single most stressful year of my life. I had a new baby, for crying out loud. I was nursing and pumping and wanted to get back to my class full of third grade students. I went from full time to a team-teaching set up once I had children of my own. It was a wonderful theory…to get time with my son most days but also to go to work 2.5 days a week, make some money, feel like I had a purpose that was separate from changing diapers and feeding a human around the clock…but it wasn’t easy.
My mother in law was incredible. She volunteered, or more likely agreed to come watch our little guy who was only 3 months old when I went back to work. It was incredibly generous of her, not only to spend her day with her grandson so I could work but also because she drove an hour to get to our house. She lovingly spent time with him 1-2 days a week. I appreciated each day so much, but somedays I was late. Somedays she couldn’t come down the hill to our house due to rain, snow, mud. As a teacher I had 25 kids counting on me to show up, as well as a principal that needed me to be at school on time or to give her enough notice to find a fill in…well that didn’t always happen. Sometimes I was sick, sometimes my new son was sick…by January all of my sick days were used up…and I was stressed out each work day, hoping childcare would pan out.
My boobs leaked, I pumped at recess, ate quickly, called home to check on the baby situation, graded papers in between bites of food and left school as fast as I could each day to get home to feed the baby and relieve my amazing MIL. It was an incredible break from reality but juggling both added a ton of stress to my life and probably a wrinkle or two to my face. I took the following year off of work to recoup and regroup.
That year off was wonderful. I don’t remember specifics…but I do know there was way less stress. Our schedule was our own, I was always on duty which was draining but knowing I could always be present and on duty was also a huge relief.
A lot of working moms seem very bothered by complaining stay-at-home-moms. Many working mommas would love to have the opportunity to stay at home and snuggle and do drop offs and pick ups and carpools and do play dates at the park around noon. But opposite to that, many working moms also love working. Women love to feel needed, to be independent, to be able to provide. Sometimes there are two incomes working together in a relationship, other times there is only one, sometimes one spouse provides the bulk of the income and another’s salary may contribute to insurance or smaller bills.
I have working friends that reach out to me every so often to help with their kids. Most often it is when school has a staff development day that doesn’t line up with the momma’s work schedule, sometimes it is for the hours in between school letting out and clocking out of work. I am learning that there is a beautiful way that working and stay-at-home-moms can live in harmony. We can help each other and stop comparing. A friend of mine asked me last week if I could pick up her son from school. I agreed, he came over and played with my younger son and they had a great time. I didn’t expect anything for helping my adorable-working-friend while she covered a shift for a coworker…but she was exceptionally generous.
So working mommas…I think you are amazing.
I love how you provide for your family while figuring out the logistics and finances to have your children cared for by responsible and loving providers during work hours. Believe me, I know what a stressful undertaking that is. I know you work hard! I know you are splitting your time and it is the best thing for your family. We don’t have to compare whose way of mothering is better, we can support each other by being encouraging and knowing that we are each enough.
Cheers To Hardwork
However that looks to your family!